No clue

How many times do you let someone come in and out of your life before you kick them out for good? How many times do you let them text and call you saying that same thing over and over again before you change your number. How many times does it take before you really quit loving him and decide that enough is enough.

I never really know. I say I'm going to be stronger. That next time he calls me I won't answer. I won't answer his texts and let him dick me around like he has been. I try so hard not to cave in. But something pulls me back in.

It's a viscous cycle. And he says the same thing every single time. And for some reason, every single time I believe him. And after you've broken my heart my expectations are that you'll be better. That you'll try harder to win me back, to prove to me that you won't walk away again. I don't feel like that's a ridiculous thing to expect.

And every single time he's good for a few days... and then he fades away. He just disappears. I end up getting angry and call to tell him I'm done. But am I really done? I'm beginning to think that maybe he's just testing me to see how far he can push me. To see how far he can push me ... and then pull back.

I'm exhausted.