Square One

This isn't where I wanted to be. I spent 8 months of my life thinking I had found the man I was going to marry. I found the man I was going to have children with. Who I was going to settle down, but move all over the country with. I'm still so sad. I had wanted these things so bad. I wanted them with him. I can't tell you why my heart picked him. I can't tell you why in my gut I felt so sure. I can't explain it. It's just a feeling. I wish I could shake it.

I had pictured my life being different right now. I thought I'd be living in Colorado with him, starting our new life together and just letting whatever happen, happen. I thought I'd be moving forward and being happy, when instead I feel like I'm stuck and I'm miserable.