So I fell asleep at 7 pm after I got off work... and now I'm wide awake.

I graduate college in 10 days. It's weird to think back on this time last year... we were together and I was so excited for you. I thought you graduating would mean you'd want to grow up and mature... maybe even commit to me. Little did I know you wanted none of it.

I have moments where I really don't ever think about you. And then randomly I'll be driving in my car or I'll be in the shower or I'll be walking somewhere and there you will be. Or I'll wake up at 5 am to get ready for work and I'll have a random email from you. You don't have anything really important to say but you email me anyway. Why do you do this? You make random appearances back into my life... and while now it doesn't hurt as much as it used to, it annoys me instead. I write back and then find myself refreshing the email on my phone waiting for you to write back. It's annoying. It makes me wonder what you are missing... Why would you even bother to email me telling me that me introducing you to Zyrtec saved your life? Yes, I know I was awesome. All I wanted was to take care of you... even almost a year after it's over I still am and you don't even know it.

I know that no matter how hard I try I will never really get to erase you fully from my life. I mean... we have 34 mutual friends on fb. One of your best friends happens to be one of my oldest friends... But until I accidentally run into you again, whenever that may be, I don't want to hear from you. Because once you start talking to me, for some strange reason, I don't want you to leave again... and you always do. I know there will come a time when I don't think that you are emailing me because you want to be with me again. Because you've realized what you let slip away... I won't want you anymore.