I feel really sad today. And I go over it time and time again and I'm not even really sure why I'm so upset all of the time. Why after almost 9 months I still cry when I think about everything. It doesn't make sense to me. I wish I could figure this out.

I know you don't care. And it's gotten to the point where everyone around me doesn't really care either. I hold it all in and pretend I'm okay. I pretend like I wouldn't die inside if I saw you again.

I feel ridiculous even writing that. I tell myself you aren't worth it. Are you? I don't think so.

What the hell is wrong with me?